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Sekiro Video Game Content and the Time My Underwear Got Ripped at a Bar

video game content


I was probably mid-20s going "back "home as they say when some friends and I casually met up at a local watering hole. We ran into a few old classmates and shared some stories, talked about life, wives, kids, lack thereof, and had some good times. I think at some point I had a Red Bull and vodka because I'm secretly a woman and can't handle liquor unless it's diluted at some point.

Sekiro Video Game Content Impressions

I've honestly never played a Dark Souls game, so I was certain I'd be in for a treat with Sekiro. The only problem is that treat was a chocolate-covered turd. Oh dear lord I must have fought one single boss early on in the game like 20 times before I finally had my one moment of zen in the sun after defeating him. And then, there's this moment:



When a large black cock assaults you and knocks half of your health away, you know you're in for a very interesting time.

Aside from video game content, I visited the bathroom at the local bar and walked out, only to see my friends slyly standing next to a gorgeous bartender. They waved me over. "Hey Jeff. Let's get you a drink."

This wasn't looking great.

Neither was fighting the second boss in the game. I think video games have much more forgiving mechanics—Assassin's Creed comes to mind, where I'm wildly mashing buttons and pulling off tricks quickly with swords and pistols. Sekiro doesn't give you that. It forces you to learn. I'm so used to stomping into a room with guns ablaze a-la Serious Sam that learning to stealth was a difficult thing I had to force my brain to. I'm not the sharpest, especially since just recently someone asked me to pick a number between 1 and 5. I responded with 8. I are smart gamer, yes.

Regardless, I was beckoned over to the bar, blindfolded, spun around, and I felt a hand go into my pants. Suddenly, the hem of my underwear was ripped, pulled over my head, and my head was pulled back onto the bar. My mouth was forced open and a shot was poured haphazardly into my mouth.

I've only been into a few hours of Sekiro, especially since my progress has been super-slow, forcing myself to learn how to play. Thankfully, there's a trainer character that includes more abilities as you progress so it's possible to ingrain learning this new brutal game into yourself. Sekiro may be a 9 in my book, but it's a very reluctant 9, specifically because of those moments of joy when you've won. And I plan to win a lot more. And die a lot more too.

After I went to the bathroom, friends of mine showed me video of the embarrassing ordeal. The shot I was given came from the hot bartender's mouth. I think of it like almost making out.

Check out recent news of my plight or read up on how I met people at a Christian meetup I recognized from Adult Friend Finder.


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