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Showing posts from August, 2018

A moment of being blind on Twitch.

Twitch Streaming Horizon Zero Dawn and the time I Applied for a Phone Sex Hotline Position

No, I wasn't going to be operating the phone sex hotline. My voice isn't great enough to do that, but I'm sure they had people behind the scenes that were great at encouraging others to...feel certain things through words of encouragement. But regardless, I thought it was a fantastic opportunity at first. Boy howdy, I was wrong.

I looked up what I -thought- was the address to this location and I found it in Santa Monica, a very large building in the center of some metro that I thought would be great to work in. The position was live-in so I actually would have an apartment. That should have been my first red flag, but it wasn't.

The second red flag is when they sent me to Olympic and Alameda. I didn't consider it a red flag until I actually arrived at the location. Across the street there were at least ten shopping carts full of homeless people swag. I parked and was very scared.

If you're considering twitch streaming Horizon Zero Dawn, it's a bit of a mix…

The Thunder Cometh.

Twitch Streaming with Chicken Assassin: What Works and What Doesn't

I was 18 years old when I hid inside of a woman's bathroom while avoiding police that were roaming the parking lot in a public park.

Not quite like this. But close.

It was kind of stupid of me and two friends to get a bottle of cheap-ass vodka and go to a public park to get trashed beyond belief. We made screwdrivers because you mix orange juice and vodka. Pretty simple.

My natural instinct when I drink with friends is to stay up nearly all night. I tend to have a nocturnal nature, and so while the rest of my friends were passed out from drinking so much, I started wandering around the public park. It was actually a good idea despite the rest of the decisions.

So recently I tried twitch streaming Chicken Assassin, and the game undoubtedly has some strong points. A very clear, progressive ladder towards end-level stuff and a currency that you have to build and gather towards end-game content. Nothing out of the ordinary. A lot of it is actually fun because you get random drops that…

Here's Funny Entertainment For Ya: Sleeping with Ye Olde Hag with Bolt-On Boobs

It was some time maybe a few years ago where I discovered a new bar. It was one of those bars that was acceptably dirty, one that just reeked of some kind of gritty-yet-enjoyable smell, but was just happy enough to remind you that life is good.

It was probably like midnight when I was enjoying some whiskey, when someone with bolt-on tits and nipples poking a few miles out of her tank top sat next to me. It was pretty obvious her boob job was pretty fucking fake, because I'm sure by her age they weren't supposed to be as massive and self-supporting. She sat down next to me while I cracked off a few jokes. I was her funny entertainment for the night.

No Man's Sky has had it's new Next update, and it's turning a lot of heads. A lot. The game completely tanked upon release and many streamers (yours truly included) returned the game because of it's poor depth, repetitive grind sessions, lack of any specific multiplayer as demonstrated by a recorded video, and a bug…