Skip to main content

Here's Funny Entertainment For Ya: Sleeping with Ye Olde Hag with Bolt-On Boobs

funny entertainment


It was some time maybe a few years ago where I discovered a new bar. It was one of those bars that was acceptably dirty, one that just reeked of some kind of gritty-yet-enjoyable smell, but was just happy enough to remind you that life is good.

It was probably like midnight when I was enjoying some whiskey, when someone with bolt-on tits and nipples poking a few miles out of her tank top sat next to me. It was pretty obvious her boob job was pretty fucking fake, because I'm sure by her age they weren't supposed to be as massive and self-supporting. She sat down next to me while I cracked off a few jokes. I was her funny entertainment for the night.

No Man's Sky has had it's new Next update, and it's turning a lot of heads. A lot. The game completely tanked upon release and many streamers (yours truly included) returned the game because of it's poor depth, repetitive grind sessions, lack of any specific multiplayer as demonstrated by a recorded video, and a buggy, unfounded release. Now, the game has a lot more depth. The grind is still there, it's just...deeper. There's base-building available, so there's not much of an expectation to travel to the center of the universe as the first iteration emphasized.

As for funny entertainment, it functions better as more of a chill-stream than anything else since it doesn't have those high-intensity moments like life-defying jumps or moments of butthole-clenching.

Speaking of buttholes, no I didn't put it in her butthole when I took her home. In fact, I had the worst sex I've ever had. I was tired and in no real mood to have sex, even though she kept insisting that she wanted some. We basically (basically) had sex twice, and they were both times of regret. At least it was safe sex, because had I caught anything from the 50+ year old roast beef cave that woman was toting, that aspect of my life would have been destroyed.

As before, No Man's Sky's update is pretty substantial, and plenty of streamers are playing it again. Many members of Would You Kindly have streamed the game recently, so if you're a fan of space sims and funny entertainment, I would suggest stopping by one of their channels and seeing who you like the most. When you decide you're done with your game or stream time, please don't bring home women 30 years your senior to have horrible sex.

Popular posts from this blog

How to Tell if Someone is Viewbotting (and other malicious things)

There's an aspect of livestreaming video games that gets under my skin a bit. Viewbotting. A lot of streamers have done it in the past. In fact, I once caught someone viewbotting and looked at who the bots were "following." A laundry list of very familiar names showed up, many partnered accounts on Twitch with millions of followers. Well-known streamers making a living. It's definitely abused a lot on streaming platforms, sort of the "black hat" method of livestreaming. Thankfully, nobody I saw listed from those bot accounts was any streamer that I was supporting. I don't bother supporting anyone trying to find "get partnership quick" methods. If you want to build a business out of streaming video games , then please don't bother viewbotting. You'll eventually find you wasted your money and your community will likely abandon you. However, if you feel that someone is viewbotting, here's a few ways you can tell someone is...

3 Ways How to Stay Motivated When it Comes to Twitch Streaming

  This is a difficult topic for me for various reasons. Probably the most glaring reason that it's difficult for me is that I, among others, have been going through motivational slumps in the past several months when it comes to twitch streaming . For others, their stream is entirely a business so the motivation isn't really a factor; if you don't stream, it affects your standard of living. For others, especially those that are trying to establish their selves by "doing the grind," motivation comes and goes. It's never an easy answer to the motivation question, but I think I've been able to whittle motivation when it comes to twitch streaming down to 3 methods. Here they are: 3 Methods to Motivate Yourself Streaming A Quick Guide to Getting Back on the Twitch Track So, as before, these are 3 methods or ways for those of us that are trying to push the envelope when it comes to streaming—not the ones that are well established and make a living from full-time...

Cyberpunk 2077: What Else Are We Talking About?

CyberPunk 2077: Meeting My Expectations I avoided the hype. Stuck to what I understood about CD Projekt Red. Recognized that this was an 8.5 year development. Didn't stick to the lore. And admittedly, Cyberpunk 2077 met my expectations which, to be transparent, weren't all that high. The first demo I saw at E3 was arguably the worst demo I've ever seen—unresponsive AI, a crash mid-demo, and a poorly-matched pair of people representing the game—and so I felt a lot of problems might carry forth into the finished game. Whether or not I could stream the game on Twitch was also a concern, because if a game is going to launch poorly, you won't be getting much of an audience either. Sure enough, Cyberpunk 2077 launched unfinished. 8.5 years is a long time for a single release, and at that point, you have to wonder what's cooking in the kitchen. But I'll approach the most important question about the game that's on a lot of peoples' ...