Skip to main content

A Funny Twitch Stream Mixed with Zelda and a Voodoo-Practicing Hookup


funny twitch stream

I'm a fan of online dating because it's pretty easy. It's the speed equivalent of Hot or Not, and there's even a chance of meeting the person. If you meet a person, there's a chance of sex too, which is always good in my book until you catch the clap or something worse. Wrap before you fap, folks.
This particular date was a little weird because I went to her house where I plundered the depths, if you will, but not after learning the said date I met online (we met at the beach as a date, and then took things further) was apparently really into voodoo. Seriously, she had like these strange bone figures all over her wall and I was starting to get creeped out.
We'll talk about The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild here shortly.
We finished and she didn't look very impressed. A sad day for me since I had the mindset that I would be great for her, but it turned out maybe her inner regions had been so ravaged in the past that my attempts were laughable. It didn't matter though, because shortly after The Finishing, she gave me a pill.
"It's a painkiller. It usually amps me up!"
Like Stormy Waters in Sealab, I said "OKAY" and took it. It didn't amp me up. Instead, I started to really get lofty.
Breath of the Wild is not like any Zelda I've played before. It works pretty well if you're running a funny twitch stream because you can crack jokes in the middle of walking somewhere distant. You can ramble on about bullshit as you're walking across the land until you come across something new, and then you run to discover what it's about.
At first, though, the game isn't forgiving. It kind of points you in a general direction of what to do and where to go, but shortly after that you're kind of fucked. You end up going places that aren't really beginner friendly, and you will die. Constantly. You'll get one-shotted on a consistent basis. That tower you want to secure to open up the map? Yeah that's surrounded by enemies that flit around and zap you if you get too close. So good luck on that front.
But after awhile, you'll start to see that you're gaining traction. You can stand up against the enemies that used to one-shot you. You can even get the towers you weren't expecting. Things start to make sense. And they click together. Breath of the Wild is more about finding the little magical mysteries and seeing how they work. It's much more think, explore, discover, uncover, and win. And yes, you can still have a funny twitch stream while you play it, so nobody is bored. Have fun with it.
After the painkiller started making me drowsy, I decided I would muster the energy to drive home. My rando-fuck wasn't thrilled that I was leaving, but I also wasn't thrilled that she basically drugged me, possibly to knock me out so hard that she'd steal some cash out of my wallet. I made it home safe and sound, but I hope she didn't steal my hair or something to make a goddamn voodoo doll out of me.
The above recount is true. Have an awesome day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How to Tell if Someone is Viewbotting (and other malicious things)

There's an aspect of livestreaming video games that gets under my skin a bit. Viewbotting. A lot of streamers have done it in the past. In fact, I once caught someone viewbotting and looked at who the bots were "following." A laundry list of very familiar names showed up, many partnered accounts on Twitch with millions of followers. Well-known streamers making a living. It's definitely abused a lot on streaming platforms, sort of the "black hat" method of livestreaming. Thankfully, nobody I saw listed from those bot accounts was any streamer that I was supporting. I don't bother supporting anyone trying to find "get partnership quick" methods. If you want to build a business out of streaming video games , then please don't bother viewbotting. You'll eventually find you wasted your money and your community will likely abandon you. However, if you feel that someone is viewbotting, here's a few ways you can tell someone is

Twitch Los Angeles Meetup: One of the Best Events, Period

I'm kind of in awe. About two years ago, I attended a Twitch Los Angeles Meetup in Burbank. Back then it was still named Twitch Hollywood. But I knew I wanted to be a part of this because it was all about Twitch, video game livestreaming , and enjoying ourselves as gamers. Our last event, Saturday February 8th, was one of the best events I've ever been a part of. Small enough that plenty of folks knew each other, but large enough that we got deserved attention. Red Bull , Voodoo Ranger Beer , Need for Kneading , Twickle , artists, all sorts of companies came out. It was a fantastic night. We had a wonderful venue, the Hungarian Cultural Arts Center in Los Angeles. There were a few mishaps with moving in, but thankfully we were able to clear out whatever the previous guests were doing. Which strangely had to do with setting a bathtub on fire. People lined up around the block after parking about a mile away. We didn't think we'd get the attention

A moment of being blind on Twitch.